Reality Based Training Knowledge Base Soft Skills to Avoid 90% of Violence

General Overview

Avoiding physical violence in an urban setting requires a blend of awareness, communication skills, and mental preparedness. It’s about assessing situations before they escalate and utilizing tactics to de-escalate or remove yourself from potentially harmful encounters. This is the core of a good RBT program. Inasmuch as some combatives, and modern self-defense programs are starting to introduce these soft skills a large majority of traditional martial arts do not mention them.

Below are some ideas and concepts that can help you build these non-physical skills:

1. Situational Awareness

• Scan your environment: Stay alert to the people and surroundings around you. Recognizing potential threats early on can help you avoid dangerous situations before they develop.
• Body language awareness: Pay attention to the body language of others. Non-verbal cues can signal aggression, discomfort, or intent to escalate a situation.
• Avoid distractions: When walking in urban areas, avoid being distracted by phones, headphones, or other distractions that reduce your awareness.

2. Verbal De-escalation

• Stay calm and composed: In a tense situation, your own calmness can have a cooling effect on others. Take deep breaths, maintain eye contact, and use a steady tone of voice.
• Active listening: Sometimes, a person just needs to feel heard. Letting someone vent, acknowledging their frustration, and repeating back what they’ve said can help defuse aggression.
• Use empathy and non-confrontational language: Statements like “I understand where you’re coming from” or “Let’s find a solution” can help calm the other party and show you’re not an immediate threat.

3. Conflict Resolution and Negotiation

• Find common ground: Even if you don’t agree, try to identify something you both share in common. This can create a connection and reduce hostilities.
• Frame your intentions positively: For example, instead of saying “I don’t want to fight,” you could say, “I’m just trying to avoid a problem.”
• Give them a way out: If you’re in a tense situation, offering an option that allows the other person to save face or de-escalate without losing dignity can prevent escalation.

4. Setting Boundaries

• Use assertive body language: Standing tall with shoulders back and using a firm but calm tone conveys that you are not an easy target.
• Verbal boundaries: Politely but firmly communicate your personal space needs. If someone invades your personal space or makes you uncomfortable, calmly state that you need space or will need to call for help if they continue.
• Recognize signs of aggression: If you notice signs of aggression—like clenched fists, rapid breathing, or glaring—calmly step back or remove yourself from the situation.

5. Escaping or Disengaging

• Know exit routes: Always be aware of your surroundings and possible exits. If you feel a situation is becoming unsafe, look for an exit route or an opportunity to walk away.
• Walk away with confidence: If an encounter is escalating, sometimes the best option is to walk away. Walk confidently, and don’t turn your back completely, as that can be seen as an act of submission.
• Create distractions: If you can’t leave immediately, creating a distraction—such as drawing attention to yourself or using nearby objects to create noise—might make your escape easier.

6. Dealing with Aggressive Language or Threats

• Avoid escalation: Don’t respond to insults or threats in kind. Responding aggressively or sarcastically can often lead to further escalation.
• Use humor or absurdity: In some situations, using humor can break the tension. For example, responding with a light, non-threatening remark can defuse hostility.
• Don’t react immediately: Take a moment to process a threat before responding. This gives you time to consider a de-escalation approach and shows that you’re not intimidated by a verbal attack.

7. Cultural Sensitivity and Awareness

• Respect cultural differences: What might seem neutral or polite to you could be interpreted differently by someone from another background. Be aware of cultural sensitivities and avoid actions or words that could be misinterpreted.
• Context matters: Understanding the broader context of the situation—whether it’s related to stress, social norms, or personal struggles—can guide your response in a way that promotes peace.

8. Building Mental Resilience

• Stay calm under pressure: Practicing mindfulness techniques like deep breathing, (Box Breathing), or visualization can help you remain composed when confronted with stress or a threatening situation.
• Confidence without aggression: Developing self-confidence allows you to handle challenging situations without feeling cornered or needing to escalate.

9. Utilize Social or Legal Resources

• Use your network: If you feel unsafe, don’t hesitate to contact friends, family, or co-workers who might be nearby. Sometimes just having a witness or backup can deter potential attackers.
• Know your rights: Understand the legalities of self-defense, harassment, and your rights in your city or country. Sometimes simply knowing your options can give you the confidence to handle a situation without violence.

10. Mental Conditioning for Dangerous Situations

• Plan ahead for confrontations: While you don’t want to anticipate violence, mentally preparing for a range of possible outcomes can help you stay grounded if things do take a turn for the worse.
• Avoidance is key: Recognize that physical confrontations should always be a last resort. The goal is always to disengage, avoid harm, and escape when possible.

These non-physical techniques can be just as effective—if not more so – than physical responses when it comes to defusing or avoiding dangerous situations. Being mindful, calm, and prepared can make all the difference in ensuring your safety.

____________________________________________________

*Jeff Cooper was an influential figure in the world of self-defense. *Cooper’s Color Codes is a system designed to help individuals assess their level of awareness and preparedness in various situations, particularly in self-defense and situational awareness.

____________________________________________________

The Interview (when approached by a Stranger on the street)

The interview refers to a common situation when a stranger suddenly approaches you on the street. They ask an innocuous question, make a statement – this is to judge if you are a potential victim 

It’s important to be prepared for unexpected situations, especially when it comes to personal safety. The steps outlined can serve as a guide for self-defense awareness and response. Here’s a breakdown of the key points, along with some additional context:

1. Distance: Maintaining a safe distance is crucial. A step and a half away allows you to assess the situation while keeping enough space to react if necessary.
2. Look for a Cohort: Be aware of your surroundings. If someone approaches you, scan the area for potential accomplices who might be waiting to assist the predator.
3. Ready Position: Adopt a non-confrontational stance that keeps you alert but does not provoke aggression. This can involve keeping your hands visible and relaxed, showing you are not a threat but ready to respond.
4. Verbal Boundaries: Use clear and assertive language to establish your boundaries. You might say something like, “I don’t want to engage with you” to deter unwanted interaction.
5. Physical Boundaries: If the person invades your personal space, reinforce your boundaries by stepping back or using your body language to signal discomfort.
6. Attack First: If you feel that an attack is imminent and you have no other option, be prepared to defend yourself. This could involve striking as a means of escape, targeting vulnerable areas of the attacker (like the eyes, throat, or groin).

Additionally, recognizing body language can be key in predicting potential aggression. Signs such as sudden head movements, changes in posture, or a fixed gaze can indicate that someone is about to escalate the situation.

Remember that the primary goal in any self-defense situation is to escape to safely. If you can avoid confrontation, that is always the best outcome. Always trust your instincts and prioritize your safety.

Coming Soon – RBT Knowledge Base Soft Skills Part II